A Sort-Of Interview With Karl Lagerfeld

If you aren't familar with Karl Lagerfeld's Guide to Life, make yourself familiar. It's a masterpiece of a blog written by someone channeling Karl Lagerfeld that is generally a horribly offensive view of the normal world. There are very few people that Karl does not find utterly demode, but in my interview with him he revealed these people along with much, much more.

Joey:Hello Karl! It's great to talk to you. How are the Spring collections going?

Karl:Hello. They're going great. I'm ready for next season!

J:On a stranded island which is more important to bring?Chanel weights or the Chanel safety pin?

K:Oh, the safety pin to keep safe.

J:You talk a lot about people who are demode. Who is not demode to you?

K:Anna, Me, Yves, you know....the beautiful ones.

J:Now that you don't want to speak to Lindsay anymore, Who is your next starlet of choice?

K:Mm. They're all so demode now. So boring, so controlled.

J:You said in an interview that you hate all children, did you hate yourself when you were a child?

K:I was never a child. Ever. I came out of my mothers womb in a suit and sunglasses.

J:I know you like Diet Coke, have you ever tried Coke Zero?

K:Are you a spy from someplace to place insidious thoughts in my mind about trying that so-called drink??

...There's your answer. Karl knows best. Remember this.

J:If Claudia Schiffer didn't exist, who would be in your ad campaigns?

K:But, Claudia must exist. It's impossible for her not to, hmmmm?

There is always a Claudia around. So I guess the campaigns would have no one in them.

J:What is your favorite documentary about yourself?

K:I hate them all, equally. Documentaries aren't for watching anyway, hmm?

J:Which line of yours do you prefer? Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, or Fendi?

K:Which me are we talking about, hmmm? Fashion today is for mixing. There is no labels- labels are for fat people, for whores, for rich peasants, you know? No lines. Today we mix a Mozart with a Beethoven, and so on. I don't have a favourite- they are for mixing. Mixing mixing mixing.

J:I hear you're in Mary Kate and Ashley's new coffee table book. How did that interview go?

K:It went well, I feel. Mary Kate is like a little china banana, you know?

J:Will you ever give up any of your lines to another designer?

K:What?

Thank you Karl!

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Influence

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have come a long way from Full House. As Mary Kate continues to dress impeccably,design for The Row,and take small acting roles, and Ashley sort of does the same, you can tell they've pretty much got it made. So, truthfully, they can do whatever they want. And it's no surprise that their choice involves the fashion and art they surround themselves with.They've interviewed some of the modern day artists that no doubt influence them, and these interviews, along with copious pictures, will be featured in their new coffee table book Influence. Some of the artists featured are Karl Lagerfeld, Christian Louboutin, and Terry Richardson. The book arrives in stores on October 28th, but is now available for pre-order on Amazon.
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Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta

I should preface this by saying that I really am no film critic. If I were you, I wouldn't base whether or not you see a movie on my critique. But, nevertheless, there are some things I can tell you about The Wackness. The first thing is that director/writer Jonathan Levine loves the '90s. How else could you explain the countless references and deliberate placement of all things '90s? But the problem is, the film feels a little weighted by all of it. It seems as if Levine would rather remind us constantly of the era the film is taking place in than the story itself. New York City in 1994 is a perfect backdrop for the events taking place, but trying to make the decade a character in itself was a little bit too much. And yet you can't blame him for being nostalgic. It is possibly his enthusiasm for what he is portraying that makes the film feel so genuine.

The story goes something like this: Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck) is an unpopular soon-to-be-ex high school student who, to paraphrase a classmate, is "only good for weed." He takes on the challenge of drug dealing and strikes a deal with a therapist, Dr. Squires (Sir Ben Kingsley), to exchange marijuana for therapy sessions. But it turns out that the man who is supposed to be helping people achieve happiness and inner-peace can't seem to find it himself. He yearns to be a teenager again, and befriends Shapiro as a way of achieving this. Luke tells the Dr. of his problems with girls and in no time Dr. Squires becomes somewhat of a mentor to him, making sure he doesn't make the same mistakes he did. But it turns out the only girl Luke really wants is Stephanie (Juno's Olivia Thirlby) , Dr. Squires' stepdaughter, the good kind of bad girl (or is it the bad kind of good girl?)

To add to his problems, Luke's parents are teetering on poverty, so he begins to deal drugs full time, as a way to support his family. This is where Mary Kate Olsen comes in, as spacey modern day hippie Union with pseudo-dreadlocks. Dr. Squires' quest for youth leads to the now-famous makeout scene between him and union, but his life, and his marriage, continue to deteriorate. What really surprised me was that among all the drama were really some funny moments, mostly lines from Dr. Squires. In the end, the story leaves much to be desired, but it's fitting for the characters who really see no point in change. Ultimately, I enjoyed it, and I think it shows promise for up and coming actors Josh Peck and Olivia Thirlby.

The Wackness is now playing in select cities and will open nationwide August 1st. Rated R.
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