December Magazine Covers

Hello everyone! As you can see, we've been revamped, and it's back to business.

Harper's Bazaar

Lindsay Lohan

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Vogue

Jennifer Aniston

Interview

Cate Blanchett

Nylon

Lily Allen

i-D

Leona Lewis

Teen Vogue

Kristen Stewart

Marie Claire

Jennifer Connelly

Glamour

Nicole Kidman

Cosmopolitan

Jessica Simpson

Dazed & Confused

Kate Somers

W

Blake Lively
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Another TV Update

When I'm not preparing my comprehensive and genius coverage of fashion week, I like to partake in the great American pastime of TV. TV is having sort of a renaissance, with the lesser programs of the season (hello Do Not Disturb and Knight Rider) either canceled or extremely close to it. TV is arguably better than what's showing in theaters these days, so I'm happy to be a viewer! I give you my thoughts on Ugly Betty and The Office, after you click

Ugly Betty
Ugly Betty is one of my favorites, so I waited for this with baited breath. After the predictable but most likely necessary solution to last season's cliffhanger, Betty returned home from a cross country trip where she went to "find out who she was." Cheesy, but the checklist that Betty came up with for a more successful year served as a good outline for the episode. 1.More responsibility at work. Betty returns to a revamped Mode (Marc and Amanda stole the show once again.) only to find that Daniel's office is now a nursery, and he no longer works there. She travels downstairs to Player magazine, Daniel's brainchild and the "third bestselling no-nudity men's magazine in the country." The new receptionist got a lot of laughs, but my reaction to this change of scenery was similar to Betty's, not good. Luckily I have faith that the writers will find some way to get Betty back to where she rightfully belongs. 2.Her own apartment in the city. Betty, wonderfully naive, fell for the ways of a fast talking New York City real estate agent and ended up with the worst apartment ever. Luckily, her family pulled through and fixed up the place, and I have a feeling she'll Betty-ize it enough. 3. No more romantic entanglements. Easy enough, until she meets Val Emmich's character in her building. I think I like him better than Henry and Gio, mostly because he's pretty much Betty's polar opposite. Also of note:Lindsay Lohan began her role. I can't tell whether it was amazing or awful, really. She didn't have a lot of lines, but she was pretty funny at some parts! All in all, it's a good role for her to restart her career with.

The Office
I have to say, this just may go down in history as the best episode ever! Fan favorites Jim and Pam are finally engaged, and of course it was in front of a gas station/rest stop. My favorite character, however, is Kelly, and this was a great episode for her! There was a company-wide weight loss competition, and of course she was all over it. She went for the lemonade diet, and looked a lot like death. Hands-down the funniest moment of the episode was when she fainted on the scale. I could go on and on about the goings on, but I think I...won't. Just watch it!
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Say Cheese

In recent years we've become more and more fascinated with celebrities and every aspect of their lives. You can't go to a grocery store without keeping up with all the gossip, as tabloids compete to sell their shocking stories. With this uprising in our culture has come a notorious presence not just in Los Angeles, but wherever the stars will take them. They're called paparazzi, and it seems pretty clear they're here to stay.

There's a good chance you may have seen them at work. Shows like Pop Fiction capitalize on how our new media works. But the truth is that the paparazzi can be truly ruthless when they need to be. They fight and break laws, scale fences and climb trees, just to get a picture. It seems ridiculous, but it isn't to them. The market has gotten so competitive that simply following these celebrities around and taking pictures of them is not enough anymore. To really make money you have to get the shots that nobody else gets. When a story breaks, like Britney Spears being taken to the hospital or Shia LaBeouf getting in to a car accident, the photo agencies know that the accompanying pictures are extremely valuable to the tabloids, so they're willing to pay top dollar. This is where the paparazzo comes in. In a crowd of thousands, the one who is willing to go the extra mile will get the shot that is worth the most. Typically this is breaking the law.Recently Brad Pitt has threatened legal action for pictures taken of his family in France. The photos were quickly taken off the internet, but were already sold to a tabloid.
The whole point of this discussion is that their less than legal tactics have been brought up recently as new laws were proposed to prevent them. Such ideas as "personal safety zones," requiring paparazzi to identify themselves on their license plates, and press credential tags have been proposed. John Mayer, Eric Roberts, and Milo Ventimiglia all testified about the horrors they're faced with day by day. But apparently this has gotten them nowhere.The chief of police William Bratton made a snarky remark ("since Britney started wearing clothes, Paris is out of town and not bothering anybody any more, thank God, and evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue”) and called the hearing a "waste of time." Apparently he believes that the laws in place are suitable and no further action is necessary. The outcome remains to be seen, but one thing's for sure: As long as the public is voracious for the pictures, the paparazzi will do whatever it takes.

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A Sort-Of Interview With Karl Lagerfeld

If you aren't familar with Karl Lagerfeld's Guide to Life, make yourself familiar. It's a masterpiece of a blog written by someone channeling Karl Lagerfeld that is generally a horribly offensive view of the normal world. There are very few people that Karl does not find utterly demode, but in my interview with him he revealed these people along with much, much more.

Joey:Hello Karl! It's great to talk to you. How are the Spring collections going?

Karl:Hello. They're going great. I'm ready for next season!

J:On a stranded island which is more important to bring?Chanel weights or the Chanel safety pin?

K:Oh, the safety pin to keep safe.

J:You talk a lot about people who are demode. Who is not demode to you?

K:Anna, Me, Yves, you know....the beautiful ones.

J:Now that you don't want to speak to Lindsay anymore, Who is your next starlet of choice?

K:Mm. They're all so demode now. So boring, so controlled.

J:You said in an interview that you hate all children, did you hate yourself when you were a child?

K:I was never a child. Ever. I came out of my mothers womb in a suit and sunglasses.

J:I know you like Diet Coke, have you ever tried Coke Zero?

K:Are you a spy from someplace to place insidious thoughts in my mind about trying that so-called drink??

...There's your answer. Karl knows best. Remember this.

J:If Claudia Schiffer didn't exist, who would be in your ad campaigns?

K:But, Claudia must exist. It's impossible for her not to, hmmmm?

There is always a Claudia around. So I guess the campaigns would have no one in them.

J:What is your favorite documentary about yourself?

K:I hate them all, equally. Documentaries aren't for watching anyway, hmm?

J:Which line of yours do you prefer? Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, or Fendi?

K:Which me are we talking about, hmmm? Fashion today is for mixing. There is no labels- labels are for fat people, for whores, for rich peasants, you know? No lines. Today we mix a Mozart with a Beethoven, and so on. I don't have a favourite- they are for mixing. Mixing mixing mixing.

J:I hear you're in Mary Kate and Ashley's new coffee table book. How did that interview go?

K:It went well, I feel. Mary Kate is like a little china banana, you know?

J:Will you ever give up any of your lines to another designer?

K:What?

Thank you Karl!

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Ugly Betty Can't Stop Finding Love

A lot of stuff went down on last season's finale of Ugly Betty. Lindsay Lohan guest starred in a random and confusing opening flashback sequence, Wilhelmina finally became editor and chief of Mode, leaving Daniel out of a job, and Betty had some decisions to make. For someone considered so ugly, she sure does have a lot of romantic interests. First there was Walter, a nerd who worked at a Best Buy-like establishment and then moved to Maryland, and eventually there was Henry, a nerdy accountant at Mode who's had some romantic drama of his own, and then all of a sudden a sandwich maker named Gio showed up. As Betty got over the loss of Henry in her life, she agreed to go to Rome with Gio. Almost on cue, Henry showed up begging her to move to Tuscon with him. The end of the last season showed Betty leaving the house with a suitcase, but didn't exactly give any hints. Now it seems we know what she did, so to find out
It looks like Betty chooses neither. Christopher Gorham, who plays Henry, is signed on to pilots for CBS, and Freddy Rodriguez is reportedly signed on for only more episode, as well as multiple projects including the thriller Identity with Timothy Hutton. That doesn't mean that Betty's loveless. Val Emmich, who guest starred in 30 Rock last season as Liz Lemon's younger love interest, will appear on Ugly Betty next season as a possible new love interest. Elsewhere in the UB world, Eddie Cibrian will reprise his role as Justin's gym teacher who is having his own thing with Betty's sister Hilda. And make sure to watch out for Lindsay Lohan again when she returns for a series of episodes.

Val Emmich
pictures from Popcrunch and Stephen Bailey
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